“”That’s what passes for life, I should say. That’s what passes for happiness, for most people. Guys like Dan, they’re like sleepwalkers,” she said, “and nothing ever jolts them awake.”It was in reading this quote from Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven, and dreaming and breathing it for weeks after finishing the novel, that I realized that I was sleepwalking.It scares me to think about. I’m only 18, probably at one of the most exciting times of my life; what does that mean for people who are rooted in their routine? If I’m sleepwalking, are they barely conscious?
My name is Carolyn. I’m an avid reader, carb lover, struggling writer, and sleepwalker. And after finally accepting this fact, I realized that it’s not just me. The way our world works today is not cohesive; it’s billions of individuals orbiting on their own paths, never looking up to actually see what they are circling. Life becomes something mundane, losing its joy and mystery to gadgets and negativity. We become so absorbed in routine and what we don’t have, that while we may be alive, there is no way we are living.
For me, writing is my attempt at being present – at staying awake and fighting a mindset that constantly lulls me to sleep. Sharing my thoughts and passions with even one person allows me to communicate, to extend outside of myself and connect with another human. Recently I’ve come to understand that writing allows me to be alive, to contribute to the world something that could stay on it perhaps longer than I will. But none of that will happen if I’m sleepwalking.
Think of this blog as your alarm clock. A strong cup of coffee ready to caffein-ate you into reality. I hope to bring back the colour of life to a world that lives in black and white, the beauty of life to a generation with tunnel vision. Through this blog I will provide advice on how to have a more positive outlook, tips for better appreciation of what you have, and help to make sure you “repent nothing”.
I’m a sleepwalker. You probably are too. But together we can make sure that we wake up and start living.